As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
