i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Your cock deserves a montage
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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