I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize