Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
