they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
