I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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