Just cropdusted the office
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Randomize
