There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
