Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I lost the right to judge tonight
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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