is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
