This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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