I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize