If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
