You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
