You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Randomize
