That's intense
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
