He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
