dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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