Whod you bang
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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