spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
