just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
