tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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