i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
