yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
