There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I came so hard my ears popped.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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