True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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