i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
