Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
