I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
