tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize