he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
