Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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