Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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