just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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