i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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