Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
