I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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