i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
she peed on how many people?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize