I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
