he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
