My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
