I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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