I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize