Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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