Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
