forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize