oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
