this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
