your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
