I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
