I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize