just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Let's get the cat blown out
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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