Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
