Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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