haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
