Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
