i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
