I cockslap morals
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
