Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize