If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
