Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Randomize
